Hunger*

My hunger cues are coming back! Earlier today, at about 3:30, I noticed I was starting to feel hungry. That hasn't happened in almost a year I think. Normally, if I skip an eating time (since I eat by the clock), I get dizzy and lightheaded and it feels like there's air in my wrists and lower legs instead of blood. I hadn't skipped my afternoon snack, so it was a bit odd to feel hunger that early. Oh well. All that matters is that I was able to recognize hunger before I got to the "starving high" stage :)

Also, I have decided that I am going to maintain my weight. I decided this at 93 (I'm 5'3"), but ended up gaining another pound from fro yo and IHOP on Friday and Saturday. The reasoning is that I feel like I'm going to shut down and relapse if I gain any more. At the time I made the decision, I failed to recall that 93 is the weight I was at when I really felt myself losing control of myself (if that makes sense?). Now I'm thinking that the idea behind my choice is a result of subconciously realizing that fact, but only realizing it consciously after my feet were firmly planted in the "maintain" state of mind. No matter the reasons, I am working on maintaining now. If I gain, that's okay, but I'm not going to be actively trying to gain anymore. It's too much stress and struggle and has led to binges. If I lose weight...well, let's just hope that doesn't happen....