Stuck*

Today is my first full day back from two weeks in the hell house. It was hard enough when my sister was there, but she left after week one and I had to deal with the dogs by myself for the last week. There were binges practically every day, and a lot of sun/peanut butter was eaten. Last Sunday, my first full day by myself, I broke. My mom came over for dinner, and it felt like she was mocking me. She could come and go as she pleased, but no matter I would always have to go back to that house and that psycho dog. I contained myself as best I could while she was there, but I did snap at her a lot and didn't make any effort to conceal my distress. Not long after she left, I binged. It wasn't much, but it did trigger a purge. I purged a bit, and then I broke down into uncontrollable crying. I knew being by myself that night, at that house, wasn't a going to be a good thing. I was afraid of myself. I called my mom and tried to convince her, through my painful sobbing, to come and get me. I ended up spending that night at my house, and my mom spent the night with the dogs I was supposed to be watching. I cried myself to sleep that week, all except Thursday and Friday nights. Thursday I spent the night at my house again, and Friday I felt more refreshed and knowing that it was my last night there helped, too.
That pretty much sums it all up to this point. My problem now is that I want to restrict again. I short-changed my meal plan Thursday, yesterday, and today. I'm starting to feel that niggling little fear of going over 1300 cals. I keep telling myself that it's not a problem, I'm eating enough and it's better than bingeing (right?).
Problem: Last Saturday, I weighed myself when we were over. 96.2. Not very accurate considering I had already been eating and drinking by then. However, based off of that, I could assume that if I had weighed that morning I would be at or a bit above 95. Okay, I was fine with that. I weighed myself Monday morning (since I had spent the night Sunday). 95.4. Fine, okay, whatever. I weighed myself this morning. 94.4. I went down. I like it and it scares me at the same time, just like before. I'm worried I'm going to start that cycle again. (I lost a couple ounces. No prob, I just won't lose anymore. Oops, lost a couple more. Freak out a bit. Get used to it. Oops I lost a couple ounces. No prob, I just won't lose anymore. And on and on and on.)
I'm so stuck right now. I've been in this state of not wanting to gain for about a month now, I think. Now, I've gained and then dropped. Do I go back to gaining? Do I try to maintain here? Do I pretend like the cycle isn't about to start again (if it hasn't already started)?
I'm stuck. I'm "between a rock and a hard place." Now how do I get out....?