Cupcake #1 and Confidence

I have wanted to write all week! Between writing two papers, taking notes from my textbooks, doing a project and having a fun day with S after it all I've had a pretty busy week. I'm not gonna lie, I took plenty of breaks from my schoolwork; but I needed a break from the computer then, too. So, no post until today.

Last Saturday, my family I went up to Annapolis after my class. We went to the mall (it's huge!) because I need more than three pairs of pants, and I haven't been able to find anything that fits right. One pair I have now is jeggings, so they're stretchy. The other two are on the verge of being too tight.
The problem I have is this: If it fits in the thighs, it's too tight in the butt (and it won't zip). If it fits in the butt, it's way baggy in the thighs.

I tried on so many different styles from so many stores, and still nothing worked. I did find one pair that fit, but they looked like mom jeans on me.... Looks like it's going to be skirts and tights this fall and winter!

After the mall, we went to Whole Foods (of course). Hot bar for dinner, shopping, and then....a cupcake! I told myself I would do it, that I could do it. So, I don't know the cals for dinner or the cupcake; it doesn't mean I can't have a sweet! I got the caramel apple, and it was so delicious! The ED voice tried to creep in when I finished it. Yeah, not gonna happen! One cupcake is not going to hurt me :)

Now, back to the day with S that I mentioned. Wednesday, I got to see him for the first time in....I think two months? It's been a while, to say the least.

When he started undressing me, for the first time ever I didn't want to hide myself. I didn't feel the need to cover myself up or try to find the "right" way to sit so I looked "just right." I felt more confident, and it was great. Even while we were doing things, I didn't think once about covering myself up or finding the right lighting. Okay, that's a lie. There was one moment when I stopped and wrapped my arms around my body. Honestly, though, it felt a bit forced. Not completely, but I felt like it's what I should be doing. Thankfully, that shyness didn't last long!

The point is that I'm more confident then before and less self conscious. I just hadn't realized it until then. I'm also like that in other aspects of my life. I can walk around, and I don't care who looks at me or what their eyes say. I'm speaking out more, and I'm not afraid of doing it.

The world doesn't look quite so big and bad and scary anymore. I'm confident in myself. I am who I am; no one else is going to change that. I have the capabilities to do what I want (become an RD). I'm not as self conscious. I wear what I want because I want to. I speak out because I'm no longer afraid of being judged by what I say.

I love me.

A few months (maybe even weeks) ago, I never would have said that. I can now, though. And it's true.

I love me.

I hope everyone that reads this loves themselves, too. If you don't, I hope you do soon and I wish you the best :)

Cereal Success

Yeah, I like alliterations...They can make anything sound so catchy!

I finished my box of Cookie Crisp today! A day early! I was bit worried I wouldn't be able to complete the challenge because I still had about half a box left this morning.

Well, I've been snacking on it all day. Mostly while reading a book a few minutes ago ;) I was that determined to finish the box by tomorrow! Little did I know I'd actually finish today! Challenge completed.

What challenge to take on next? Hmmm.....