Baby Steps

Because of the trip, I've eaten a few more frozen meals than normal. Since the food my gran and pap have that I'll eat is limited, I've relied on them when I can't think of anything else to do with quinoa, peanut butter, or bread. Normally, I'll have a frozen meal once every couple months if I absolutely  cannot think of anything to make or if everybody else at the house is doing it (who wants to cook when they see other people just zapping food in a microwave?).
When my mom, gran, and I went on the initial shopping trip, my anxiety was over the moon and I didn't pay much attention to the frozen meals that I tossed into the cart; I just wanted to get them and get out. I grabbed Amy's Roasted Vegetable Lasagna, Amy's Light and Lean Soft Taco Fiesta Bowl, and Amy's Light and Lean Black Bean and Cheese Enchilada.
Somehow, the fact that lasagna contains noodles completely escaped me until I sat down to eat it. And if I had taken the time to read what was in the fiesta bowl and enchilada meals, I would have seen that they both contain rice. I haven't had pasta or rice in almost a year. I'm terrified of eating pasta and rice. So. Many. Carbs.
Well, I wasn't going to just toss out the lasagna because of a silly thing like noodles and breadcrumb topping. So I ate it. And I didn't feel guilty at all. I did feel extremely full, but that's it.
It was the same with the other meals. I didn't know there was rice in them, but once I found out, it was already too late. I ate the rice. All of it. And you know what? It didn't kill me. I didn't gain ten pounds overnight because of it. I had no reason to be afraid.
Am I going to start eating noodles and rice on a regular basis? No. Eating them in the frozen meals felt kind of safe because it was already pre-portioned. I will try to make them when I get back home and slowly incorporate them back into my diet because there is no reaosn for me to be afraid of eating carbs.
Speaking of home, we leave on Thursday!!!! I just have to make it through the rest of today and tomorrow!

And happy Independence Day, America!